I have noticed something.... That most of the human race can't take the consequences of their actions. When something doesn't go as they planned they blame others for their failures and can't except that they are the ones that are most responsible. I guess it makes them feel better to put the blame on others...
What I have observed and what most people don't realize that when they blame others they are holding back Themselves. With grudges they are blinded by what's waiting for them in the future. They only see what's in the past... The "wrong doings" of the people that they see did them wrong. Therefore they are unhappy and are unable to reach the good things that could be waiting for them in the future. (Yes i do realize that there are some cases that can't be helped with this)
Take teenagers for instance most of them like to blame their parents because they can't do whatever they want, or they have to do things they don't want to do. They blame their parents for not loving them and then rebel and get into trouble that could lead them to death. Which actually most parents love their children and just want to seem them safe. (Again i know this isn't always the case, and I'm sorry for those of you who are in such situations...) But still they blame and rebel not realizing that they are the ones who are making them unhappy and not their parents.
Sometimes people play the blame game not with other people but with their own disabilities. Like a person that's Anti-Social (there's actually a medical term for it but I forgot what it was) who wants friends but because they blame their anti-socialness and let that hold them back they are unable to make friends. Or people with A.D.D. and A.D.H.D, most of them have been told that they are "stupid" or "unlearn able" to the point where they believe it and start blaming their A.D.D./A.D.H.D. for the reasons why they do so badly at school. They don't realize that A.D.D./A.D.H.D. does not mean that they are "stupid" or "unlearn able" it just means that they learn differently than others and actually most have an above average IQ.
People just need to realize that they are actually the ones holding them back, not other people... Sure it might be easier to blame others but it will get you nowhere fast. If a person has done you wrong it's OK to be bitter towards that person for a little while. but if it's like a year later and you still blame them then that's your own fault. It's in the past! All it's doing to you is making yourself bitter and unable to trust anyone.(I know not true in big cases but true in most) So get over it already!
If you have disabilities and you are not trying to overcome them, just blaming them. STOP IT!! The reason we have disabilities is so we can try to overcome them and be proud of who we are! If you are doing nothing with your disabilities and just letting them rule your life that's your own dang fault!
Take responsibility for yourself for once. Stop blaming others for your unhappiness and look in the mirror. Because 90% of the time it's your fault and no one Else's.
There that's my opinion, if you don't like it... TOUGH! For it's MY opinion, doesn't mean I'm right it's just what I THINK!
So true! I agree, Brinna. This is awesome.
ReplyDeleteThere is a psychological term that matches all that called confirmation bias. Wikipedia describes like this: "is a tendency for people to favor information that confirms their preconceptions or hypotheses regardless of whether the information is true."
ReplyDeleteHumans have a basic need to have a good self image. When that self image is threatened we often interpret events in such a way to protect that self image. Disillusioning ones self image can be a dangerous event.
Take a person with BPD for example, whose disorder likely started as an assault on there core personality. They grow up being taught they cannot be who they are... that who they are is bad. Saying to that person again "Stop IT" and "get over it", is very close to saying to them once again "Stop being who you are". To say to them these things would be highly ineffective and even damaging.
It requires quite a bit more care than just saying "get over it" as by saying this one is invalidating the emotions they felt, and they feel invalidated as a person.
If ever I have a child, I will never say to them "get over it" as I know, that could be the first step to breaking them.
Just giving you some food for thought!
- Lander
On another note.. about Anti Social (ASPD)--- It's actually a psychological disorder, but probably not the one your thinking about. Here is how wikipedia defines it:
ReplyDelete"a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood."
These are not the kind of people you want as your friends- at least not until they find help. They may violate you in all kind of ways.